On the lighter side

I saw this written in a pregnancy magazine and got a good laugh out of it. Any woman who has been pregnant will be able to appreciate the humor (and truth!). :)

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CAFE PREGGERS

We always have just what you want, at any stage of pregnancy--from the queasy beginning to those last weeks when the baby has taken up every ounce of spare room in your belly.

FIRST TRIMESTER MENU

Appetizer

Tums compote

Entree

Fresh saltines on a bed of saltines, lightly seasoned with saltines

Beverage

Ginger ale (IV drip available upon request)

Dessert

Ten minutes in a dim room with an ice bag on your head

SECOND TRIMESTER MENU

Appetizer

Half a roast chicken, extra crispy

Entree*

A succulent leg of lamb smothered in pork chops, served with BBQ ribs and garnished with cheesburgers (all burnt beyond recognition for your safety)

Beverage

Toll-house pie smoothie, prepared with 1/2 pint heavy cream

Dessert

9" x 16" pan of double-fudge brownies

THIRD TRIMESTER MENU

(Each course followed by 15-minute neck massage and/or bathroom break)

Appetizer

Three bites of tossed salad

Entree

Two bites of lasagna

Beverage

None--so you'll have room for dessert

Dessert

A Tic-Tac

*Double portions available if you're expecting twins